i had my first sale on etsy! i'm officially in business! so exciting. i had a bed dance party when i read that email!

if you haven't yet, look at my etsy! i'll be getting new stuff in soon--boot cuffs, flower headbands, and more!!! woohoo

etsy!

well, everyone. my etsy is up and running and you should check it out!

here!

:)

school is ruining everything.
i'm sorry that i just want to be a little kid and whine for a little bit. well i'm not that sorry, you don't have to read this. I"M ALLOWED TO HAVE FRUSTRATIONS! really.



DISCLAIMER. i am going to whine a little. vent, really.

SCHOOL IS THE WORST. i know that i am very blessed to be able to go to school, and i AM THANKFUL. it is just very hard right now. i am a very unorganized person and i get real distracted real easily. and currently, i have three presentations tomorrow. so my brain is all over the place! i'm blogging for heaven's sake! its not technically finals week, its projects/presentations/huge papers week. which is 85 millions times worse than finals week. and i am right in the thick of it. plus zach and i have been fighting more, because we are both under stress and don't have much time to hangout together. also i am really emotional......for no reason at all it seems. its probably the stress. all i know is i have eaten more ghiradelli's milk chocolate/caramel squares this week than ever before in my whole life.

anyways. if anyone reads this ever, throw up a prayer for me--if you are the prayin type. also i apologize for the magnitude of negativity in this post. promise the next one will be a lot better!

sincerely, hanna aka the really stressed, messy-haired, chocolate-crazed, tired, sleepy, cranky girl in room 206. thank you very much.

much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honoring of differences, not simply the enjoyment of similarities.

i don't really like showering....it takes a lot of time and i would much rather be doing anything else. especially when i can just spray on a little dry shampoo--it makes my hair easier to work with anyways. but today, it had been 6 days since my last shower and i decided it was time. and i spared no expense. i shaved my legs and underarms, with fruity shaving gel! i also used body wash AND body scrub. along with leave in conditioner and a mask. and let me tell you, i feel like a new woman! as much as i hate showering, i do love feeling clean and fancy and....like a lady.

that is all.

tonight

my good friend titus had a show at kaffee-meister, our favie coffee shop! he is a seriously talented musician and it was an amazing show.

here is zoei and i, all dressed up for the show. we love each other.

ALSO

when i returned from home, zach picked me up from the airport and we got coffee at starbucks (first things first) and THEN WE WENT TO REI AND

I GOT A PATAGONIA BETTER SWEATER. no big deal!!!!!!! i absolutely love it, its so warm. i can't take it off! i've worn it at least once every day since i've gotten it

also this happened when i got back. love that cheech to death. 

lately

i've been so MIA lately, sorry to all my thousands of followers!!! school is eating my soul and sucking out my brain. all i can do is take pictures of life and put it on here. maybe soon i will be a real person, who knows!

this is from the walk the moon show we went to! such an amazing energetic fun show!!!!

zach, zoei and i all went camping at san elijo a few weekends ago! it was just what we needed. we saw sunsets,  put our toes in lots of ocean waves, ate hotdogs and smores and just enjoyed the outdoors. it was perfect. 

also one day me and zach were wearing basically the same thing, but it was on accident.

we got to see our good friend paul greg a few weeks ago! we walked around san clemente, went to some surf shops and of course, the candy store! and we also saw the sunset on the beach!

then. we had friendsgiving at jeremiahs house! 

then. i got on an airplane and flew home for the week for thanksgiving! being with my family was so so great, i haven't seen them since summertime! i love the bay and san francisco and everything about northern california!

mal, her rooomate lainey and i hiked up a mountain to see the sunset on thanksgiving, it was beautiful. (If you can't tell, i'm really into sunsets lately. i love em, can't get enough)

of COURSE i loved the weather, perfect fall weather!

thats been my life lately! oh yes, and a million pillion trillion pounds of reading and projects and studying and writing papers and planning presentations. but i refuse to document that.

.

i have realized something. i am a natural avoider. with mostly every problem that comes my way, my instinct is to push it to the back of my mind and my schedule and just not deal with it. when an assignment is due that i haven't had time to do, my instinct is to just skip class for the day. or when i get frustrated with zach, (sometimes) i just try to stop thinking about it because i don't want a fight.
but its not good!!!!! i am learning that it is not good to do that and i am also learning to not do that.  yikes

Today we hiked up a mountain to see the sunset. it was freezing outside and the hike was hard but so worth it to get to the top of that mountain! i like going on adventures with zach, its my favorite kind of date.

lately

favorite coffee place with zo and christy

julie's bachelorette weekend!

meghan lynn riedmiller

day in julian!

family (in julian)

pretty mountain stuff

  

my man (and that wonderful facial hair)

barn/best friends'wedding

love these with my whole heart.

caterpillar fights with dallas (he's like 19 feet tall, so he won)

joshua family. so much love.

oh boy

ELECTION TIME STRESSES ME OUT. Facebook is blowing up with crazy emotional psycho dramatic posts. people are arguing and disputing and hating on each other and the candidates. it really bothers me when people are so disrespectful of the president. even if he is not someone you don't agree with or don't love having in office, we are called to respect him and submit to his authority, because he has been placed there for a reason.

i'll be honest, i'm pretty glad romney did not win the election. i'm not necessarily thrilled that obama won but i am sure that there is a God that is all good and is in control. despite the democrats taking it again! imagine that. this election didn't take God by surprise and he has a plan and a purpose for the United States. and that is something to take comfort in! woohoo

i am so emotional right now. i am listening to this song on repeat--it was the first dance song at julie and tc's wedding---and he was singing it to her in her ear. (!!) so i am listening to it and crying and looking at wedding pictures and crying and reminiscing at how beautiful and love filled that whole day was and crying and thinking and praying for them. a few tears were shed.

i love love. and i love that i got to be a part of julie & tc's day. and as much as it embarrasses me, i love that i have emotions, a lot of them. 

this is just something i want to remember

tonight at the flood, after a really good sermon about forgiveness, singing amazing grace, i got really emotional. at first it was just the song and the people around me that was gettin to me but then i noticed there was a guy a few rows up, that was yell screaming the words so intensely, tears streaming down his face. and that is how i know this is all real. that guy is loved by Jesus and has been saved by his amazing grace. and he knows it and is stoked on it. and at that point (i might be suffering from PMS) i couldn't keep it in and i broke down. lotsa tears. happy joyful tears.

also

i think my love language is being listened to. because in the last like 5 years i have been in many places of my life where people didn't listen to me, maybe not even on purpose. but it just never mattered what i said. like while i was talking, they were only thinking about what they were going to say next and i felt worthless and like i wasn't worth knowing. and thats why (probably, i am assuming) being listened to is something that really means a lot. no one likes being ignored, no one in the world does. but it really means a lot to me to have someone that values and cares about what i say and thinks i am worth listening to. thats probably the best feeling i could ever even feel.

sometimes i think worship songs make us out to be liars. there have been so many times when i don't mean the words being shown up on the screen but i had sung them anyways. and sometimes the songs just make a general assumption about people that is definitely untrue. i think i am still figuring out musical worship and the different forms of it but i do know it has everything to do with the heart/attitude behind it. there are a lot of times that i feel negatively towards everything and don't want to sing if the worship leader isn't a great musician or seems fakey or something. and that is all on me, thats a bad attitude and not fair. worship is not about how good the music is or how christian-ese the worship leader talks. like i said, i am still figuring this whole worship thing out but for now i think i am not going to sing the words unless i really mean them and have a right heart. because otherwise, thats being really fake and that is the thing i am most trying to get away from in my life.
eh. rambling.

happy fall!

tonight, we had a fall party. 

we dressed up in leggings and scarfs and warm sweaters and cozy blankies and we made hot chai tea and had caramels and candy and caramel apple pops (also we watched bridesmaids/gossip girl WHATEVER)!!!! it was perfect.

fall, we welcome you with open arms.

being a Christ-follower is more than being a nice person who likes Bible verse statuses on Facebook or takes a picture of Scripture and puts it on Instagram. sometimes, that is all I see people doing with their faith and that makes me mad. but it could just be their thing, you know. i think the reason it makes me mad is because that is how i used to be, when i was a "Christian" but before i was a Christ-follower. i did everything a "good Christian" should do, and if Instagram was big back then, I definitely would have been that person that reads the Bible only for the purpose of being able to take a cool picture of it. but now it just frustrates me when i see that.
this is a pretty angsty post..... sorry. maybe i am being a little too judgmental. maybe i will learn from this later.

beirut

such an incredible song/band/music video/everything

one of bon iver's last full band shows, here

today was such a good day.

we woke up and we said, "its going to be a good day!" and alas! it was.

we slept in, a lot more than normal, but it was so needed and wonderful! then we went to brunch and all that was good/left was cereal so all we had was only cereal and coffee. then we came back to our home (dorm room) and did some laundry, and took showers, and got ready for the day, and did homework, and watched some TV shows and just relaxed.

then. zach came over, since it was open halls (which, normally we hate, because of all the LOUD OBNOXIOUS boys that roam free in our hall, but today was good), and he brought me a wonderful iced latte from Kaffee Meister and also, pizza and crazy bread from Little Caesears!!!!! what.a.guy.

then, a few hours later, we went to dinner (for fruit only......the honeydew tasted like candy) with ross, titus, ryan and zach. and it was so fun and silly--ryan is one of the funniest people ever, without really knowing it/trying.

THEN. we started a Twitter game. this time, with charlie, blaze, john, zoei, zach and me. its called on the spot game or #otsgame. basically, someone thinks of a subject and we have 4 minutes to tweet the funniest joke we can come up with about that subject. it sounds dumb...but basically it was just a way to use twitter. we also came up with a new game called knife throwing dare game. basically, you stand in a circle and someone comes up with a dare. then, you pass the knife around, with each person throw/spinning the knife at the ground and if it sticks straight in the ground, that person has to do that dare! an example of a dare: stand in a trash can and stick the top on your head and poke your head out the little flap thing. or, eat a leaf. or put a spider web on your head for one full round. or run into the lounge and steal the ping pong ball that people are playing with. or lick the cement. or howl at the moon for 5.5 seconds. or eat an ant. the list goes on and on. it was crazy and loud and fun and wild and weird and we didn't even care, it was so much fun!

then. fro yo.

THEN zach and i went up this hill overlooking the whole city and we brought hot chocolate and cheez-its and just watched the city lights and talked about our goals for this year and for life. that guy is one of a kind. i am so blessed by him.

it was such a great day. so relaxing and silly and fun and needed. perfect, thanks God, you da best.

well this made me cry

compassion

this is a decision i have made.

i am going to make it a point to ask people to tell me their story. there is so much weight in sharing your story, its incredible. this is going to be good.

also this is my life right now: messy hair and ramen. plus peanut butter m&ms.

people

considering the hour, this probably won't be very structured or anything, i'm mostly just rambling my thoughts out.

people need acceptance. people need love. people need to feel like they are a part of something and like they are wanted. where does that even come from? maybe its an obvious answer and maybe its even in the bible (?) but really, where does that need even come from? because people are not fulfilling that need in the right way.

the way i fulfill that need is through people. family, zach, friends, attention, approval. i have tricked myself into subconsciously needing it all, and for what? to feel better? to be happier? who even knows. & how do i undo that? because there is really one thing i, and all people, need and that is the redemption and grace of the blood of Christ.

i have only been a Christian for about 4 years. i grew up in a Christian home and i asked Jesus into my heart when i was little but i honestly can not say i had a relationship with the Lord until four years ago. up until that time, my life was filled with trying to please people (amongst other negative things), mostly the wrong people. and i got used to it. i got used to being not myself and doing what other people were doing and trying to make people like me by doing what i thought would make them like me. and that became ingrained in me i think. i relied too heavily on my reputation and how people saw me and thought of me and relied not at all on Jesus. so now, i am relying on Jesus and i am trusting him and loving him the best that i can. but i am also relying on people--most of the time, more than i am relying on Jesus. and that is no good.

so now its like the cleansing process. i am detoxing from all those years of relying on people's acceptance and caring too much what people think about me. and its hard because this is something that  is hurting my relationships with certain people. but isn't this becoming more like Christ? sanctification? its difficult!

usually my blog posts resolve in some way or another but i can't think of a way to resolve this one, sorry.

well actually i will just end with this, its been super on my heart. i'm also not really sure it has anything to do with everything up there.

everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house but it did not fall because it had been founded on the rock. and everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. and the rain fell, and the floods came and the winds blew and beat against that house and it fell, and great was the fall of it. matthew 7:24-27

love this.

(got it from pinterest)

eventful dayz

today was an exciting day.

first, we woke up early early early and drove to Del Mar to meet Beth and her mom and her sister in-law and her soon to be mother-in-law for a lovely brunch at the stratford court cafe! and THEN we went to this bridal place for Beth's wedding dress fitting! it was an ivy and astor trunk show and it was SO lovely. and beth tried on so many pretty dresses, she looked SO beautiful. and i think she found the dress she is going to get! its literally perfect.

then after that, we got to pet a bunch of jungle safari cats, they are basically like regular cats that are hybridized with like a leopard or something. and we just got to play in a pen of cats. it was perfect.

THEN me and zoei got lots of coffee and craft supplies and i  made a lot of wrapped wire/stone rings!! pictures will come soon.

and then we cut our bangs. i will give you a little backstory. two weeks ago, it was 1 am and zoei and i decided to cut our hair. not just a little bit but like 5 or 6 inches off. and it was very spontaneous and dramatic and we were excited at first and then we were sad and missed our long hair. 

fast-forward to today. we were bored and decided one way to make our hair better is to cut our bangs! another spontaneous hair-cutting extravaganza. but it didn't necessarily turn out bad. it will just take some getting used to.

here is the final product. i also turned asian.

traditions

I just wanted to talk about traditions just a little bit, because they are just so fun!! Seriously, i love them. There is just something about having a thing that you do together with a person or people that is just wonderful-- honestly, I think that's why most people like Christmas so much.

An traditions are different for different people, with different people. Like with my mom, we stay up really late anytime I am home and we watch Iron Chef America or What Not To Wear. And with Zoei, we get cake pops anytime we can and call it a fat girl moment. We also like pounding on the wall or window when people are being rude and/or loud. ( I don't know if that's necessarily  a tradition....but we do it a lot). My family has a tradition of getting sushi at our favorite sushi place every Sunday afternoon after church, it's called Sushi Sunday (super creative, I know). But Zach is the one I have the most traditions with.

As mostly all of you know, I have a pretty great boyfriend named Zach. He is my best best friend. And while there are so many great things I could say about him (and believe me, I will sometime), i am going to tell you about our traditions. They are one of my favorite parts of our relationship!! 

Ok first and foremost, omelets. We split an omelet at school every single morning of the week. We get the same stuff in our omelet: spinach, bell peppers, tomatoes, green onions and a little bit of cheese. And avocados if they have it. We started this tradition last year and have done it every weekday since (with the exception of summer obviously, and certain days when we don't wake up in time to catch the omelet guy before he packs up).

Next tradition is fist pumping. It has become acceptable for us to fist pump to any song we want.

Next, vanilla coke. That's it.

Also, splitting stuff. We like sharing food--it's cheaper, makes us not eat so much and its just fun! But we can never ever ever ever EVER share drinks because, guess what, Zach drinks all of it. Een if we each have our own drinks, he will finish his and then start on mine! Seriously, that kid drinks stuff just to drink, not even cause he is thirsty!

also, whenever we are driving and we finally see the ocean, I say, "I see the ocean!" and then he says, "I see the sea!"

We also like walking around Barnes and Noble a lot. And Target.

Rock n roll music and road trips.

Costco dinners.

Starbucks forever.

Those are a few of our traditions. We have a lot of fun together.

the HOLY SPIRIT.

In my opinion, the Holy Spirit is something that gets overlooked by the church a lot. Its an intimidating subject for a lot of people, since they don't know a ton about it. and they don't know a ton about it BECAUSE the church doesn't teach on it as much as it does the Father and the Son. Also people always pray to Jesus or God but not often does someone pray to the Holy Spirit.

But the Holy Spirit is just as important as the Father and the Son! the Holy Spirit unites us to Christ, he reveals Christ to us and gives us His life. He is how we have a relationship with God.

Here is a list of things the Holy Spirit does. learn about Him, pray to Him. it is so important.

seriously incredible.

"Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma-- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." --Steve Jobs

cheers

I am not a blogger. I have finally come to that conclusion. I tried to be, I really did. But I just can't give so much commitment to something that doesn't seem like its super real life. So then I moved to tumblr cause it seemed fun. And then I went to a school that, although it doesn't block it, the servers don't really appreciate it and it loads verrryyy slow. And now, here I am, back at Blogger.  I know, I know, I just said I am not a blogger. And yet, here I am, writing words on a journal of the inter web, posting it for the entire world to see. I do this because, with 18 units and an internship, I find myself on the computer more than I find myself holding a journal and pen. And this year is something I want to document.

This blog is about new beginnings. At the beginning of this school year, I made a commitment to myself and to God to be completely myself, all the time. To be real with the Lord and myself in every aspect. To start doing and saying things because I like them or believe them. To stop worrying so much about what people will think. To stop trying so hard to please people. Since I am, and have always been, a people pleaser, this is not an easy thing for me--its slow going at times, just baby steps. But it is so good. My roommate, Zoei, is embarking on this journey with me and we call it New Leaf 2012, (#newleaf2012 on Instagram).

So here is to new beginnings. To being free. To being myself, completely identified in the Lord. To loving people and loving Jesus. To 18 units+an internship+a boyfriend. To being a person who listens and cares. Here's to #newleaf2012.

CHEERS YO.